i just spit my muffin out from laughter
"My favorite holiday tradition isn’t a typical tradition that people have but for Christmas…like, I have a 20 year old brother so I like to see the absurd ways he wraps presents. Like, it’s bad. It’s worse and worse every year. It’s like garbage bags with duck tape, in cardboard boxes with a rope tied around it. It’s just the most hilarious thing to me because he wraps presents his own special way."
i hate it when you accidentally pick off a bit of dead skin on your lip and you can’t stop until you’ve peeled your entire face off
I KNOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE PRETTY AND COOL BUT I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S FLYING UP AND THEN IT DECIDES IT GOING TOO FAR AND TRIES TO TURN AROUND AND IT KEEPS FLOATING AWAY AND ITS SAYING ‘SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT’